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Podcast # 181

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Good evening from Southeast Asia. This will be episode number 181 181

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episode or volume of the

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alien anal probe dot com podcast things

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And there's no purpose to what's every single episode I try to you know quote some purpose of what we're doing and

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We don't really have one. We're just telling stories

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Okey-dokey and all tapes are copyright 2023 by stock photos worldwide

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calm

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You can go there and fish around look for the alien and then you end up in this page or you come straight to this page

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Just go to alien anal probe calm

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The anal alien probe page is contained within the stock photos worldwide

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Page and whatever, you know, you'll find it

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You can also go to any of about a million podcast feeders around the world and they carry this podcast I

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Don't know where I don't have a list of them anymore that I you know long time ago

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I tried to keep track of who was carrying them and it got to be ridiculous

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So they are wherever they are

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You know they talk about somebody's picture breaking the camera well

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We're probably breaking

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headphones and speakers all around the world

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Okay

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Normally we have a giant collection started up maybe some hundred reports of

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alien probing and

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Sex and stuff like that

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No, I'm not gonna go Howard Stern no, I'm not gonna go there I should

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Nice

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And we go through those reports one by one line by line

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We look for bullshit

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we look for we call out the ones that are obviously dreams and

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LSD trips and crap like that and that amounts to

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You know pretty high percentage

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But then there's the other ones that we concentrate on and we give some amount of credibility to them

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Usually it's pretty small. We have a big bucket and if we get a report that has a little credibility

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We take a little pinch of sand we drop it in that bucket and if the bucket is ever full of sand or kitty litter or

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coffee grounds or whatever

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Then we say we believe in aliens and right now

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After all these years and all these reports, we're at

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75% and a smidge

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We're that close to believing in aliens, okay, we're we are not easy

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Easy believers, we are not woo woo at all

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So that's what we normally do

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Lots of reports of probing and stuff like that and those are really really sticking fun. Oh my god

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Tonight we're gonna do something a

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little different

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And I and I kind of

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Backed myself into a corner here

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And it's necessitating that I do this in this in this episode

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In order for these to qualify to go in this feed

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They have to have something about aliens, you know

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So what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna hit one reporter. I've chosen one at random

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We're gonna do this one report and then I have to clarify something that I said in episode 180

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And like I said, I painted myself into a corner and backed myself into a corner. I disparaged an entire religion

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With good reason but I did it and

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Already

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The the mail is pouring in as I knew it would and I do not care

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It's just delete them. You know, I count the the number of fuck yous and

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Well, I did in the beginning now. I don't even count them, you know, there's too many to count

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We're gonna get you we're gonna kill your family. You know, well, I have a family so good luck with that

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You know, we're gonna find you and I did oh, oh, yeah, you're pretty good at tracking through the jungle. Okay. Well, come on ahead asshole

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Okay, so that's the kind of shit that I knew I would get it

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I'm getting it and it's only gonna get worse. So why not go in for a penny in for a fucking pound and

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That's what we're gonna do tonight. I'm gonna tell the story of why I disparaged an entire religion

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Yesterday and

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Then the shit is really it's not gonna be turds. It's not gonna be little mr. Hanke's hitting the fan

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It's gonna be

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I don't know whole sewage treatment plants hitting the fan

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That's how bad it's gonna be but I'm gonna tell a story if you don't like it. It's just too goddamn bad. I don't care

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but first

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Let's do this

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This alien report so that we can technically say this is a tape about alien encounters. Okay, let's do it

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location is

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Pavlodar region

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Kazakhstan

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I was I was in a very not all that far from there just a couple of months ago

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and I actually want to stop into some of those places and I

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Got reading about local custom do's and don'ts customs do's and don'ts and decided no

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Let's just keep on flying right over them. And that's what I did. I didn't stop there

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Anyway, the winter it's winter in 1936 times dawn

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Mr. E E

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Loznia recalled

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How as a teenager she had a strange and unforgettable encounter?

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She was 15 at the time

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She was on her way to school along a deserted snowy country road on a fine cold winter morning

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just before sunrise a

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Lot of people don't know this but that's when the monsters come out, you know

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It's like that last hour before sunrise. It's not 2 a.m. Well, so I'm too, you know, I think a majority of them

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They wait to you know, because they what happens is they're

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They're looking around all night. They're looking for trouble

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they're looking for people to scare people to whose guts they can rip out, you know stuff like that and

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Sometimes they don't really find anything and then and then all of a sudden they get the idea. Oh, holy crap

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It's not too long before sunrise if I'm gonna cause mayhem tonight. I'd better get doing it

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And and so they just they just go berserko, you know, they don't look for good opportunities

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They don't even care. They just

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Run amok, you know in the last hour and a half before sunrise. So that's the most dangerous time

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So she's right there in the middle of it

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She saw a dark object some distance away in the air moving in her general direction

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Hmm

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That's when I run I don't even wait to see what the hell it is. It could be a goddamn pigeon. I don't care

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I run it as

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It drew closer. She could see that it was a

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Another one man. There's a lot of these

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I'm sorry as it drew closer. She could see that it was a man like figure dressed in black and seen in profile

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So she yeah, okay, so it's just flying through the air

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There's too many of these and whatever making them fly. I want one

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Okay, its direction formed a 60 degree angle with the road, okay, okay

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He's crossing the road like at a 60 degree angle. Okay, not 90 degrees. That would be straight across it 60 degrees

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It's like, you know a little more than a 45

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The man was a medium height

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I lost my place

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Come on, give me a break here

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The man was of medium height and the black and the black garment covered him completely

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So what he got like a black sheet over him or some crap like that

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See how can he do this? He just flying around. He's got this black blanket over his head

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What the hell is that about?

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She saw no hands and on his head was something like a helmet. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Come on now

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Medium height

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What the hell she talking about medium height and a black garment covered him completely, okay, then she says

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On his head was something like a helmet. Well, how can she see a helmet if the black garment covered him completely?

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What the hell is she talking about? How old is this little twit?

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Teenager. Well that explains a whole damn thing right there. I don't know

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Okay, just just a slip of words. I guess he held his massive arms tightly against his sides

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How big is this?

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Creepers, I think, you know medium. He's only medium height, but he's got massive arms

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A little Hercules kind of a guy works out a lot something like that

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On his back was a device something like a Rooksac

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I'm curious if it's a if it was a flexible looking thing like a backpack or

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Some kind of a hard case looking thing like a mixed gas self-contained unit for diving something like that

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He suddenly changed course and headed straight for the student. He said I fucking told her to run. God damn it

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She could now see his right arm was slightly bent at the elbow

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Okay, well, I guess she's not going to run

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She was able to see his right arm was slightly bent at the elbow

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Okay, well, I don't know what that means but that's what she saw as he came closer

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She was unable to make out any features on his face only a black surface

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See this is 1936. Okay. Well, I tried to orient myself here

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She became aware of a rumbling sound that increased in intensity and it occurred to her that this thing might be

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More machine than man. Well, this is actually kind of a fascinating report

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It's interesting so far it hasn't tripped itself up, you know, the bullshit alarm on the back of my brain

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It's not even spooling up yet. It's saying hey, we're here. We're ready. You know, you want me to start that klaxons?

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No, no, it's okay. Let's just keep going

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At this point she became aware of a rumbling sound that increased in intensity and it occurred to her that this thing

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Might be more machine than man. That's a kind of a that's a nice observation by a teenage girl in 1936

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Kazakhstan

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I like it. I like it

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Okay, lost my place again, what the hell what I moved the microphone and crap around so now I

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disoriented and dizzy and

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Could fall out of my chair at any given the moment

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Okay, rumbling sound. Okay, that might be more machine. Okay, the distance then was no more than 40 meters. Oh god

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Yeah, run I told her before run good. Why don't they run, you know, it's like the babysitter in the horror movie

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You know, she

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Put the carpet sharks to bed hour and a half ago in there

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You know, they're gone and she's sitting on the couch by the TV all the lights are out

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Of course, you know cuz she's in the home in a rural setting alone because so you naturally that's what you do

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Turn the goddamn lights out cuz you're fucking stupid

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Okay, she's sitting on the raggedy old sofa watching TV and what's she watching?

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She's watching Freddy Krueger, you know on TV

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And it got a teeny tiny little light there on the stand next to the sofa and you know

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It's just gloomy and dark

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And about every 11 seconds she gets scared out of her wits, you know

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Sure to eat somebody or something like that

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Okay, she's thoroughly

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Okay, no more than 40 meters. She's thoroughly frightened. She turned to search for someplace to run

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Finally, finally Jesus. How long does it take?

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There was no place to hide on the barren snow-covered step

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Well, then she screwed. She's gonna get probed. That's all there is to it

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That's it. Her fate is sealed

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When she turned

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The figure had vanished as if into thin air

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Really? It occurred to her that he might have dived into a nearby snowbank

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Huh

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Well

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Who can say

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She fled to her home. Good girl

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The sighting had lasted about one minute and it was so remarkable that she could never forget it

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Okay, so we're looking for bullshit. That's what we do. That's our job

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So we, you know, we're looking for stuff that we can pick apart

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To disqualify this thing

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You know, I call Project Blue Book, you know, they were really good

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You know, you see a flying saucer and it's got eight windows and there's seven beings in there

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And then you describe every one of them and what they're wearing and their expressions on their faces and

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You know, the kind of stuff that you can see in the dark

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And you know, they come down a probe for six frickin' hours and you go, God, you're really sore

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And you know, they leave some artifacts and everybody gets a goddamn picture and a movie

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And there are big burn marks on the ground and there's

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You know, pod marks, pod impressions from the landing gear that go to 18 inches deep and shit like that. You get all that shit

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And then Project Blue Book, what do they say?

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Oh, swamp gas

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Okay, that's what we're doing

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Okay, so, okay, what do we get? We got some comments down here

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At least Anton fucking Anfilov isn't involved in this shit

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Okay, reliability of the source, they rate two over the source

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This girl or whatever rates as a nine out of one to ten

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They say early report describing an unusual flying humanoid

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There is report of a flying humanoid seen earlier

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In July 11th, 1908 in Vladivostok

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Is this the same date as the famous Tunguska fireball?

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I don't remember when that was

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I'm convinced that was just a meteor thing, natural occurrence

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I'm pretty convinced, I mean, like 98.6% convinced

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It was a meteor

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98.6% convinced it was just a natural thing

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Big thing, it was a really big thing

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But I think it was just a natural thing

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I don't think there were creepy crawlies flying around out of that thing

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Anyway, okay, credibility or not

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Maybe, I ain't deleting it

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You don't hear that trademark click, click

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Breaks your eardrums

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It's got a nice logical flow to it

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It's not broken in the middle by some claim that he had purple smoke shooting out of his ass

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Something like that, he should not claim in that

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So that helps, that's always a good sign

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I mean, maybe they do, maybe in real life they do

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Sometimes they had purple smoke shooting out of their ass, I don't know

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God, what I wouldn't give for the GoPro video of that

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Son of a bitch

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Hey, can I fake that?

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Oh my God, no, I can't

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If I had a place to do it, I could fake that

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I could fake that

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Oh shit, that would be fun

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Oh God, the guys in the jackass movies, they need to fake that shit

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They need to fake some aliens

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Oh son of a bitch, they need to do that

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God, I would help them

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I would bankroll it

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They need to put that

225
00:16:58,660 --> 00:17:00,660
Oh God, how would I go about that?

226
00:17:00,660 --> 00:17:02,660
Well, I'd make a, what do you call those things?

227
00:17:02,660 --> 00:17:06,660
A cable ride thing, there's a name for them

228
00:17:06,660 --> 00:17:08,660
Oh come on, Brian

229
00:17:08,660 --> 00:17:12,660
Where you got a cable and you stretch it between two points and you put a pulley on there and you zip line

230
00:17:12,660 --> 00:17:14,660
God dang it

231
00:17:14,660 --> 00:17:16,660
Okay, so they cut a zip line

232
00:17:16,660 --> 00:17:18,660
You make up a zip line, okay

233
00:17:18,660 --> 00:17:23,660
Going, I don't know, like between a couple of suburban houses or something

234
00:17:23,660 --> 00:17:25,660
No, I know

235
00:17:25,660 --> 00:17:28,660
Across the school playground or something, okay

236
00:17:28,660 --> 00:17:32,660
And you can't see the ends of it, you know

237
00:17:32,660 --> 00:17:36,660
Each end ends somewhere where you can't see where it ends

238
00:17:36,660 --> 00:17:38,660
So you can't see where the thing is going to come from

239
00:17:38,660 --> 00:17:40,660
Or where it's going to end

240
00:17:41,660 --> 00:17:43,660
And you know, you put him in an alien suit

241
00:17:43,660 --> 00:17:47,660
And you get somebody who naturally looks a little weird, you know

242
00:17:48,660 --> 00:17:51,660
I don't know, Biden probably wouldn't do it

243
00:17:51,660 --> 00:17:54,660
Stupid ass kid he is probably would

244
00:17:54,660 --> 00:17:57,660
He'd do anything for fifty fucking dollars

245
00:17:57,660 --> 00:18:01,660
Anyway, so you get somebody who's looking weird, you know

246
00:18:01,660 --> 00:18:04,660
Maybe they could birth defect some shit like that, you know

247
00:18:04,660 --> 00:18:08,660
You can, come on, you can capitalize on that, there's no reason not to

248
00:18:08,660 --> 00:18:14,660
You know, an arm growing out of the middle of their back or something

249
00:18:14,660 --> 00:18:17,660
So much the better, what the fuck

250
00:18:17,660 --> 00:18:19,660
I mean

251
00:18:19,660 --> 00:18:21,660
Use it

252
00:18:21,660 --> 00:18:23,660
Use what you've got

253
00:18:23,660 --> 00:18:25,660
Dang it

254
00:18:25,660 --> 00:18:27,660
You put a spit

255
00:18:27,660 --> 00:18:31,660
You have somebody make up a suit that makes him look even more alien

256
00:18:33,660 --> 00:18:35,660
I don't know you

257
00:18:35,660 --> 00:18:38,660
I mean, you get as creative as you want to be

258
00:18:38,660 --> 00:18:40,660
I can get pretty goddamn creative

259
00:18:40,660 --> 00:18:42,660
Just give me ten minutes

260
00:18:42,660 --> 00:18:45,660
And anyway, and so the cap or the whole thing is you

261
00:18:45,660 --> 00:18:47,660
And you put

262
00:18:47,660 --> 00:18:50,660
How can you make the cable invisible?

263
00:18:50,660 --> 00:18:53,660
Well, you can't, you can only do it with a green screen or something like that

264
00:18:55,660 --> 00:18:57,660
Hmm, that's a problem

265
00:18:59,660 --> 00:19:03,660
What we're going to do is we're going to make purple smoke

266
00:19:03,660 --> 00:19:04,660
Shoot

267
00:19:04,660 --> 00:19:07,660
I don't mean, I don't mean just a puff

268
00:19:07,660 --> 00:19:11,660
I mean, shoot like a goddamn rocket out of his ass

269
00:19:11,660 --> 00:19:14,660
And I'm not sure exactly how we're going to do that

270
00:19:14,660 --> 00:19:17,660
Without burning his ass

271
00:19:17,660 --> 00:19:19,660
You know, the jackass guys, they don't care

272
00:19:19,660 --> 00:19:21,660
You can do anything to them, you can fucking kill them, they don't care

273
00:19:21,660 --> 00:19:25,660
They just come back and ask for their royalty check, you know, they don't care

274
00:19:25,660 --> 00:19:26,660
They're honey badgers

275
00:19:26,660 --> 00:19:28,660
Honey badgers don't give a fuck

276
00:19:28,660 --> 00:19:30,660
They ain't scared of nothing

277
00:19:30,660 --> 00:19:31,660
YouTube that

278
00:19:31,660 --> 00:19:34,660
Honey badgers, go look for it, it's the funniest thing

279
00:19:34,660 --> 00:19:36,660
Honey badger don't give a fuck

280
00:19:36,660 --> 00:19:37,660
Oh my God, that's funny

281
00:19:37,660 --> 00:19:40,660
I know I snuck in about every five tapes I mentioned that

282
00:19:40,660 --> 00:19:45,660
Okay, so, that's what I would do

283
00:19:45,660 --> 00:19:49,660
The trouble is, as soon as, you know, all the kids would come running out of the school

284
00:19:49,660 --> 00:19:51,660
Oh, look at that

285
00:19:51,660 --> 00:19:55,660
I mean, I could see Cartman down there screaming about it

286
00:19:55,660 --> 00:19:59,660
Oh God, no, not again, not the probing again

287
00:19:59,660 --> 00:20:02,660
But the zipline thing is going to ruin it

288
00:20:02,660 --> 00:20:04,660
So how, I don't know how you do that

289
00:20:04,660 --> 00:20:08,660
I mean, the other thing you could do, I mean, you'd have to have a

290
00:20:08,660 --> 00:20:14,660
One of those jet pack things, you know, so you didn't need any cable

291
00:20:14,660 --> 00:20:16,660
I mean, this is getting expensive so far

292
00:20:16,660 --> 00:20:20,660
We're into this thing, I don't know, 20, 30 grand already, Jesus Christ

293
00:20:20,660 --> 00:20:22,660
For, you know, 15 seconds of funny

294
00:20:22,660 --> 00:20:27,660
Maybe it's reached a point of diminishing returns, I don't know

295
00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:29,660
Maybe it's not that goddamn funny

296
00:20:29,660 --> 00:20:33,660
I mean, if it's something you could set up in, you know, an hour, it wouldn't be funny

297
00:20:33,660 --> 00:20:36,660
But it's going to take you three fucking weeks, you know

298
00:20:36,660 --> 00:20:38,660
That's not really funny anymore

299
00:20:38,660 --> 00:20:41,660
Because that's all I can think of to make him do, you know

300
00:20:41,660 --> 00:20:42,660
He's just going to

301
00:20:42,660 --> 00:20:45,660
Between the houses with a purple smoke shoot

302
00:20:45,660 --> 00:20:49,660
Oh, fuck, okay

303
00:20:49,660 --> 00:20:52,660
Where the hell, what the hell, come on

304
00:20:52,660 --> 00:20:54,660
Back to work here

305
00:20:54,660 --> 00:20:58,660
Okay, credibility or not?

306
00:20:58,660 --> 00:21:00,660
Yeah, I'm not going to delete it

307
00:21:00,660 --> 00:21:02,660
How much credibility? Okay

308
00:21:02,660 --> 00:21:05,660
I really want some kind of an app thing

309
00:21:05,660 --> 00:21:08,660
Where people can punch in

310
00:21:08,660 --> 00:21:10,660
Give it one grain

311
00:21:10,660 --> 00:21:13,660
Oh, God, that's proof positive, aliens are real

312
00:21:13,660 --> 00:21:16,660
Give it 23 cups, you know

313
00:21:16,660 --> 00:21:18,660
I want to see what people think

314
00:21:18,660 --> 00:21:20,660
Give it one molecule, that's what I usually do

315
00:21:20,660 --> 00:21:22,660
Two or three or four or five molecules

316
00:21:22,660 --> 00:21:25,660
And how can you ever prove that I actually drop those in the bucket?

317
00:21:25,660 --> 00:21:26,660
You don't fucking know

318
00:21:26,660 --> 00:21:29,660
There's no goddamn way you're ever going to know if I actually do that

319
00:21:29,660 --> 00:21:31,660
I mean, I say I do

320
00:21:31,660 --> 00:21:34,660
You know, I go through the motions, but

321
00:21:34,660 --> 00:21:39,660
The problem here in Southeast Asia is that, you know, a lot of times you get

322
00:21:39,660 --> 00:21:44,660
Oh, I don't know, even up to a couple of billion molecules, you know, of silica sand

323
00:21:44,660 --> 00:21:49,660
And you hold it over the bucket and you let it go

324
00:21:49,660 --> 00:21:51,660
But Southeast Asia, it's always hot

325
00:21:51,660 --> 00:21:54,660
And we always got aircons and fans and shit like that

326
00:21:54,660 --> 00:21:58,660
And I'm betting most of the time those molecules, even a billion

327
00:21:58,660 --> 00:22:00,660
They just blow away before they ever go into the bucket

328
00:22:00,660 --> 00:22:03,660
I don't know how you can really even get them in there

329
00:22:03,660 --> 00:22:08,660
I mean, maybe if you had them in tweezers or something like that

330
00:22:08,660 --> 00:22:10,660
You know, and you held them really down close to the sand

331
00:22:10,660 --> 00:22:12,660
And then you let them go, something like that

332
00:22:12,660 --> 00:22:17,660
Maybe you could charge the existing mass of sand in the buckets

333
00:22:17,660 --> 00:22:21,660
Charge it somehow so that, you know, when you let the molecules go

334
00:22:21,660 --> 00:22:23,660
They would be attracted down into the sand

335
00:22:23,660 --> 00:22:25,660
And then you would know that they actually went in there

336
00:22:25,660 --> 00:22:28,660
Anyway, okay, so how much sand are we going to give this thing?

337
00:22:28,660 --> 00:22:30,660
We're going to give it, how many molecules?

338
00:22:30,660 --> 00:22:32,660
Well, no, we're beyond molecules with this

339
00:22:32,660 --> 00:22:36,660
We're going to, I mean, we're going to give this some sand

340
00:22:36,660 --> 00:22:37,660
I like it

341
00:22:37,660 --> 00:22:41,660
I'm giving it, I mean, this is hard

342
00:22:41,660 --> 00:22:43,660
This is not an easy thing, you know

343
00:22:46,660 --> 00:22:49,660
Because the fate of the world rests on this, all right?

344
00:22:49,660 --> 00:22:52,660
It's a momentous goddamn decision

345
00:22:53,660 --> 00:22:58,660
I am giving it, I'm giving it 200 grains of sand

346
00:22:58,660 --> 00:22:59,660
I like it that much

347
00:22:59,660 --> 00:23:04,660
I like this poor, traumatized little teenage girl

348
00:23:04,660 --> 00:23:07,660
Okay, bye-bye, all right

349
00:23:10,660 --> 00:23:14,660
Okay, the next one, if we went sequentially, is near London, England

350
00:23:14,660 --> 00:23:16,660
And I ain't going to do it because I don't want to translate

351
00:23:16,660 --> 00:23:20,660
The goddamn Swahili bastardized shit that they've come up with over there

352
00:23:20,660 --> 00:23:23,660
I ain't translating the British to English anymore

353
00:23:23,660 --> 00:23:25,660
It's really hard, I'm sorry

354
00:23:25,660 --> 00:23:29,660
Okay, so now, on to the feature

355
00:23:29,660 --> 00:23:34,660
I have to explain why I disparaged an entire religion yesterday

356
00:23:34,660 --> 00:23:37,660
In episode 180, okay

357
00:23:37,660 --> 00:23:41,660
I'm going to try not to, you know, ramble on forever

358
00:23:41,660 --> 00:23:46,660
If we have any time left at the end, we'll do another story, report, whatever

359
00:23:48,660 --> 00:23:52,660
Oh, God, we're into it 24 minutes already, son of a bitch, okay

360
00:23:52,660 --> 00:23:57,660
Okay, many, many lifetimes ago

361
00:23:59,660 --> 00:24:02,660
In a galaxy far, far away

362
00:24:03,660 --> 00:24:10,660
My wife got transferred from a northern American city to a kind of a southern American city

363
00:24:10,660 --> 00:24:16,660
We were tired of the big city and she thought it would be nice to go to a little city

364
00:24:16,660 --> 00:24:22,660
So instead of a population of, you know, whatever, 2-3 million, we went to a population of

365
00:24:22,660 --> 00:24:26,660
I don't know, how big was it? 20,000

366
00:24:26,660 --> 00:24:29,660
And we thought that would be cool, that would be cool, okay

367
00:24:29,660 --> 00:24:31,660
So she transferred down there

368
00:24:31,660 --> 00:24:33,660
Well, first I went down there

369
00:24:33,660 --> 00:24:38,660
On a motorcycle, it was a freaking long, God, it was like 2,500 miles each way, something like that

370
00:24:38,660 --> 00:24:44,660
And I went down there and checked it out, you know

371
00:24:44,660 --> 00:24:49,660
And I was kind of youngish and I was kind of stupid

372
00:24:49,660 --> 00:24:54,660
I mean, I was supposed to be checking this place out to move my family to it, okay

373
00:24:54,660 --> 00:24:58,660
And, you know, it could be said I wasn't overly responsible

374
00:24:58,660 --> 00:25:03,660
But I got there and I drove up down Main Street a couple of times

375
00:25:03,660 --> 00:25:10,660
And I remember the scene in, what was it, Chevy Chase, not Christmas Vacation, one of the vacations, I don't know

376
00:25:10,660 --> 00:25:12,660
They go to the Grand Canyon

377
00:25:12,660 --> 00:25:14,660
And that's a pretty goddamn big thing, I've been there, it's cool

378
00:25:14,660 --> 00:25:21,660
And, you know, we walked to the edge and he looked down and he nodded his head a couple of times and was like, okay, let's go

379
00:25:21,660 --> 00:25:24,660
And that's kind of what I did in this little town

380
00:25:24,660 --> 00:25:33,660
I don't know what the hell, I thought it was going to be just like little towns in the north, except, you know, quieter

381
00:25:33,660 --> 00:25:37,660
People probably nicer, more honest, shit like that

382
00:25:37,660 --> 00:25:44,660
So I stayed there a day or two and looked around and then I reported back, okay, go ahead and take the deal, go ahead and take the offer

383
00:25:44,660 --> 00:25:46,660
You know, it looks fine to me, I don't know what the hell

384
00:25:46,660 --> 00:25:55,660
Only one thing that concerned me was I was in a laundromat and I picked up a little one of these little free yellow newspaper things

385
00:25:55,660 --> 00:25:56,660
They're laying everywhere

386
00:25:56,660 --> 00:26:00,660
I don't think they have them anymore, the internet wiped them out

387
00:26:00,660 --> 00:26:08,660
But anyway, you know, you got a couple of pages of cars for sale and a couple of pages for whatever, you know, sex for sale, shit like that

388
00:26:08,660 --> 00:26:19,660
And, you know, in those publications where I came from, you know, there'd be, I don't know, maybe a quarter of a column of rewards

389
00:26:19,660 --> 00:26:28,660
Rewards for the return of my dog, you know, or a reward for the license plate of the asshole who hit us and ran away two weeks ago

390
00:26:28,660 --> 00:26:31,660
You know, shit like that, maybe a quarter of a column, something like that

391
00:26:31,660 --> 00:26:38,660
Okay, in this paper there was two pages, there was two fucking pages and it weren't no little stuff

392
00:26:38,660 --> 00:26:48,660
It was, you know, we will give you everything we own if you tell us who raped and killed our two daughters last week

393
00:26:48,660 --> 00:26:52,660
You know, that's how it ran all the way through these two pages

394
00:26:52,660 --> 00:26:59,660
And I remember I was sitting there in the laundromat and I looked at that and I was stupid, I was young and I was stupid and I didn't really register all that well

395
00:26:59,660 --> 00:27:01,660
I wasn't all that young, I should have registered

396
00:27:01,660 --> 00:27:06,660
I had worked federal law enforcement for God's sake before that

397
00:27:06,660 --> 00:27:13,660
And I should have been just a little more worldly, you know, but I wasn't

398
00:27:13,660 --> 00:27:15,660
So I called up and said, okay, take the deal

399
00:27:15,660 --> 00:27:21,660
So she took the deal and then I rode back and then we packed up all of her shit and we drove a truck down there

400
00:27:21,660 --> 00:27:24,660
And then the fun began

401
00:27:24,660 --> 00:27:30,660
And we, it was a couple of days before we even had time to walk into the restaurant

402
00:27:30,660 --> 00:27:34,660
She was to take over a little string of restaurants there

403
00:27:34,660 --> 00:27:37,660
And there was one restaurant that was the main one

404
00:27:37,660 --> 00:27:41,660
And so it was a couple of days before we had time to get in there and we did, we walked in there

405
00:27:41,660 --> 00:27:47,660
And actually I had gone in there when I went down to check the place out

406
00:27:47,660 --> 00:27:51,660
And I reported back that, oh my God, the place was just full of police

407
00:27:51,660 --> 00:27:55,660
Like 65% of the customer base was police

408
00:27:55,660 --> 00:27:58,660
And I told her, man, that's a good thing

409
00:27:58,660 --> 00:28:05,660
That means, oh, jeez, this is an orderly law-abiding, oh man, everybody loves the police, oh my God, it's great

410
00:28:05,660 --> 00:28:10,660
And so that was one of the deciding factors in her decision to move down there

411
00:28:10,660 --> 00:28:13,660
Anyway, so we walked in

412
00:28:13,660 --> 00:28:17,660
And we didn't tell anybody who we were

413
00:28:17,660 --> 00:28:24,660
I was in charge of the maintenance for those restaurants and she was in charge of everything else

414
00:28:24,660 --> 00:28:26,660
She made more money than I did

415
00:28:26,660 --> 00:28:31,660
I was writing for a living at that time, writing mostly magazine articles and making a good living and life was good

416
00:28:31,660 --> 00:28:36,660
And so we walked in there and we're in the queue waiting to get seated

417
00:28:36,660 --> 00:28:44,660
And we noticed that every time one of the cops comes up to pay

418
00:28:44,660 --> 00:28:48,660
He puts out his credit card or his cash or whatever the hell, normal thing

419
00:28:48,660 --> 00:28:54,660
And then the person, the cashier behind the counter, behind the register, they pull out a muffin tin

420
00:28:54,660 --> 00:28:58,660
Just sitting on a shelf, it's just a muffin tin

421
00:28:58,660 --> 00:29:02,660
A bunch of holes in it, you know, sitting on a shelf below the register and they pull it out

422
00:29:02,660 --> 00:29:09,660
And they put it on the counter and the cop picks out, you know, one or two or three or four little things out of this muffin tin

423
00:29:09,660 --> 00:29:13,660
We didn't really pay too much attention to it

424
00:29:13,660 --> 00:29:17,660
Certainly didn't seem like standard procedure

425
00:29:17,660 --> 00:29:20,660
But until he filed it away, you know, we'll figure out what that's about later

426
00:29:20,660 --> 00:29:24,660
And so we get seated and we watched, you know, one after another

427
00:29:24,660 --> 00:29:27,660
As the cops got done, they went up there and they went through the same routine

428
00:29:27,660 --> 00:29:31,660
And about half of the customers did too

429
00:29:31,660 --> 00:29:37,660
So we had our food and got up and went up to pay

430
00:29:37,660 --> 00:29:41,660
And they didn't offer us a muffin tin, I guess because they didn't know us

431
00:29:41,660 --> 00:29:43,660
And we didn't ask for it

432
00:29:43,660 --> 00:29:49,660
So we left and then like the next day or whatever we went in and announced who we were

433
00:29:49,660 --> 00:29:57,660
And they were like, oh shit, oh hell

434
00:29:57,660 --> 00:30:03,660
And we asked to see what's, I want to look at this muffin tin behind under the register

435
00:30:03,660 --> 00:30:10,660
And they pulled it out and we looked at it and each little muffin pocket thing had a different drug in it

436
00:30:10,660 --> 00:30:15,660
Any drug you wanted, you know, however many, probably six holes, eight holes

437
00:30:15,660 --> 00:30:19,660
I don't know how many holes in a muffin tin, but they were all full

438
00:30:19,660 --> 00:30:26,660
And then at that moment we realized we had stepped into doo-doo

439
00:30:26,660 --> 00:30:30,660
So that's how life went for the next three years

440
00:30:30,660 --> 00:30:37,660
We were robbed in there, I believe nine times, I think nine times in three years

441
00:30:37,660 --> 00:30:45,660
Each time, nobody, no other robbers wore masks and we identified them

442
00:30:45,660 --> 00:30:50,660
They were ex-employees, we had fired them for selling drugs over the counter

443
00:30:50,660 --> 00:31:00,660
We had gone in there and very nicely said, hey, you know, we don't give a rat's ass what you do in your off time

444
00:31:00,660 --> 00:31:06,660
Off of restaurant property, but you know, you can't be selling drugs in here, really, please knock it off

445
00:31:06,660 --> 00:31:11,660
And that just enraged them, enraged them

446
00:31:11,660 --> 00:31:16,660
It was the Chicano Mafioso

447
00:31:16,660 --> 00:31:21,660
This town was, what was it, 88%

448
00:31:21,660 --> 00:31:26,660
The population breakdown was 88% Indian, Native American

449
00:31:26,660 --> 00:31:31,660
Who caused us virtually no trouble at all, ever, we liked him, got along fine

450
00:31:31,660 --> 00:31:38,660
And it was 8% Chicano and 2% Sicilian

451
00:31:38,660 --> 00:31:45,660
So I don't know if that makes up 100%, there's probably some leftover, you know, something in there, I don't know

452
00:31:45,660 --> 00:31:49,660
That was the population breakdown

453
00:31:49,660 --> 00:31:59,660
And this restaurant had been a major marketing place center for them and they didn't like being shut down for drugs

454
00:31:59,660 --> 00:32:12,660
The idea of actually working for wages was just, I was just fucking unheard of, why the hell would we do that, you know, who the hell are you, what do you do, this is our operation, get the fuck out

455
00:32:12,660 --> 00:32:19,660
So they just robbed us over and over and over and we all went to court, sometimes the customers ID'd him, we always ID'd him

456
00:32:19,660 --> 00:32:30,660
It was mostly the same few people, but they would bring their friends, you know, and they'd rob the place at gunpoint or knifepoint or whatever the hell

457
00:32:30,660 --> 00:32:42,660
And luckily I was never there when it got robbed, I always carried a gun or two and I would have done my very best to plug every single one of them

458
00:32:42,660 --> 00:32:46,660
I was never there and I think that was by design

459
00:32:46,660 --> 00:32:52,660
But anyway, the problems just escalated and escalated and escalated

460
00:32:52,660 --> 00:32:59,660
They were really incensed that we would call the police after they robbed the restaurant and stuff like that

461
00:32:59,660 --> 00:33:04,660
It got really, really ugly, really ugly

462
00:33:04,660 --> 00:33:10,660
The sheriff's office was 103% corrupt

463
00:33:10,660 --> 00:33:20,660
It turned out that the robbers got a not guilty decision each and every time we got them into court

464
00:33:20,660 --> 00:33:30,660
It turned out later that there were three judges in town, two of them were, well, all three of them were on the take with the same robbers

465
00:33:30,660 --> 00:33:39,660
These guys would clean out homes and stuff like that and then share the booty with all three of these judges

466
00:33:39,660 --> 00:33:45,660
Later after we were gone, two of them got convicted and sent to prison through the judges

467
00:33:45,660 --> 00:33:48,660
God knows how that even happened

468
00:33:48,660 --> 00:33:52,660
Anyway, it got uglier and uglier and uglier and uglier

469
00:33:52,660 --> 00:34:02,660
The corporation brought in a private investigator, the police presence there was...

470
00:34:02,660 --> 00:34:07,660
That's a whole other take, pathetic beyond words

471
00:34:07,660 --> 00:34:12,660
Well, I was part of it, I mean, come on

472
00:34:12,660 --> 00:34:19,660
The corporation brought in a private investigative team

473
00:34:19,660 --> 00:34:28,660
They worked for a couple of weeks and quit saying it was too scary, they couldn't handle it, they feared for their lives, they quit

474
00:34:28,660 --> 00:34:36,660
Brought in another one, they quit, another one, I think four or five of them all together they quit over a period of maybe four or five months

475
00:34:36,660 --> 00:34:51,660
Finally, they found a retired FBI agent who said, no, I ain't gonna fucking quit, been through this shit before, been there, done that, no, I don't run away

476
00:34:51,660 --> 00:35:03,660
So he came in with the team and he started trying to get to the bottom of the shit that was going on, who's in charge, who's responsible, how, can we take out two, three, four key people and get this all solved

477
00:35:03,660 --> 00:35:11,660
This was a really high, the main restaurant was really high earning, the one that they were hitting all the time

478
00:35:11,660 --> 00:35:15,660
It was a valuable resource to the corporation

479
00:35:15,660 --> 00:35:28,660
And so finally the FBI investigator came in, the retired guy, and he worked on it for, I don't know, two or three months

480
00:35:28,660 --> 00:35:44,660
And he started ruffling feathers, the local law enforcement did not want him there because he was at least a little bit effective, he was getting some names and some answers and it looked like maybe in the end he was gonna kick some ass

481
00:35:44,660 --> 00:35:46,660
And we thought, okay

482
00:35:46,660 --> 00:36:02,660
But the shit kept happening, it just kept happening, they kept robbing the restaurant, they kept doing this, towards the end of this whole thing they ran a car through it at about 50 miles an hour, put a bunch of people in the hospital

483
00:36:02,660 --> 00:36:06,660
They were aiming for my wife and she happened to be in another part of the building

484
00:36:06,660 --> 00:36:13,660
It was ugly, it was as ugly as it gets on a small scale like that

485
00:36:13,660 --> 00:36:28,660
Finally, I wasn't all that worried about it because I had worked federal law enforcement, mostly narcotics, and I had seen stuff, you know

486
00:36:28,660 --> 00:36:40,660
I had seen this kind of stuff, and so I thought, okay, I had a few skills, maybe I could handle this, and maybe the FBI guy could handle it

487
00:36:40,660 --> 00:36:48,660
It just got worse and worse and I finally realized, holy shit, this is not working out

488
00:36:48,660 --> 00:37:05,660
And so I called up to my old division, which was, let's see, one state to the north, federal, federal operation, it was a big deal, a big operation

489
00:37:05,660 --> 00:37:12,660
I'm not going to say who it was, it wasn't a name you've probably ever heard before, but it was a big clandestine

490
00:37:12,660 --> 00:37:22,660
It started out as an experimental law enforcement operation, then it got legitimate and then it got really big, and then it's still going

491
00:37:22,660 --> 00:37:35,660
This was, geez, what year was this? This was 1986 maybe, I think so, about 1986, something like that

492
00:37:35,660 --> 00:37:42,660
I had worked for them in the early 70s, and even to this day it's still available

493
00:37:42,660 --> 00:37:49,660
You can find shreds of stuff about it on the internet, but you'll never get in contact with anybody

494
00:37:49,660 --> 00:37:58,660
Anyway, so I figured, okay, I'm getting pissed off, I've used most of my tricks and things, and I'm not making any progress

495
00:37:58,660 --> 00:38:05,660
I'm just hitting a brick wall, and I thought, okay, it's time, it's time to fucking do this thing

496
00:38:05,660 --> 00:38:14,660
And I called up there and started asking around for people I had worked with, and it turned out they had all rotated out

497
00:38:14,660 --> 00:38:24,660
There was a large Bureau of Investigation up there, can I name the state? I don't know if there's any point

498
00:38:24,660 --> 00:38:31,660
And I had worked with the head guy of that, the Bureau of Investigation for that state, and I worked with him in a number of cases

499
00:38:31,660 --> 00:38:35,660
And I liked him, we were friends, and it turned out he had rotated out too

500
00:38:35,660 --> 00:38:43,660
But anyway, I ended up talking to his replacement just on the phone, and I said, hey, I'm down here in such and such a place

501
00:38:43,660 --> 00:38:50,660
And I used to work with this guy and this guy and this guy and this guy up there, I wasn't in the Bureau of Investigation

502
00:38:50,660 --> 00:38:53,660
I was in this other thing, and we worked with you guys and like that

503
00:38:53,660 --> 00:39:04,660
And pretty quickly, I don't think he possibly could have known who I was, but he knew that I was someone in there

504
00:39:04,660 --> 00:39:12,660
And he just opened up and started talking, and I said, okay, what I want to do is I want to find some of your guys

505
00:39:12,660 --> 00:39:16,660
Some of my guys and some of your guys, I want to put them all together, I want to come down here and do a big goddamn fucking bust

506
00:39:16,660 --> 00:39:20,660
Because it's time, and I've got names and dates and places and shit like that

507
00:39:20,660 --> 00:39:26,660
And it's time, it's time to do this, we need to do this, because this is a dirty little fucking shit hole of a place

508
00:39:26,660 --> 00:39:30,660
And let's clean it up, once and for all, let's hit them hard

509
00:39:30,660 --> 00:39:39,660
Because this state actually had been within my jurisdiction, my jurisdiction was central

510
00:39:39,660 --> 00:39:48,660
Well, my jurisdiction was federal, but my region was central and the state was within that central area

511
00:39:48,660 --> 00:39:55,660
So I was, you know, that was my area, that's someplace I should have been, you know, when I was working

512
00:39:55,660 --> 00:39:57,660
But I was unaware of it

513
00:39:57,660 --> 00:40:03,660
Anyway, so I told him, let's do it, let's do it, you know, I'm your go-to man here, let's fucking do this

514
00:40:03,660 --> 00:40:12,660
And he said, well, you know, he grew up just not too far from there, 50 miles away

515
00:40:12,660 --> 00:40:16,660
And he knows exactly what I'm talking about

516
00:40:16,660 --> 00:40:22,660
His father was a federal judge there, not in that town, but in the town 50 miles away

517
00:40:22,660 --> 00:40:32,660
And his father was kind of a kick-ass guy, and he was always trying to get things to, you know, that were curvy to go straight

518
00:40:32,660 --> 00:40:40,660
And one day they came and arrested him, the local law enforcement arrested him on some kind of murder thing

519
00:40:40,660 --> 00:40:48,660
They never discovered who he was supposed to have murdered, but they got him into a cell, and within six hours he was dead

520
00:40:48,660 --> 00:40:56,660
And the coroner wrote up whatever report, you know, anybody wanted, and that was the end

521
00:40:56,660 --> 00:41:04,660
So this guy from the bureau up there, he said his family is not allowed to drive across the state line into that state

522
00:41:04,660 --> 00:41:08,660
He will never drive across the state line into that state

523
00:41:08,660 --> 00:41:19,660
I don't know, well, yeah, he was, you know, that other state's bureau, so he would never have to cross the line into the state I was in

524
00:41:19,660 --> 00:41:24,660
He said it was just an evil place, you know, Satan reigned

525
00:41:24,660 --> 00:41:32,660
And get out, he said get out, just do whatever you have to do, get out

526
00:41:32,660 --> 00:41:40,660
I mean, it was as bad or worse than cartel land in Mexico, just get the fuck out

527
00:41:40,660 --> 00:41:45,660
You know, if you can take your stuff, take your stuff, if you can't take your stuff, don't take your stuff, get out, get out now

528
00:41:45,660 --> 00:41:53,660
And Jesus, talking about popping my balloon, I was shocked to the core, I was shocked to the core

529
00:41:53,660 --> 00:41:59,660
I, holy Jesus, you know, like a bucket of ice water over my head

530
00:41:59,660 --> 00:42:08,660
And I really had to grow up there in the space of about an hour

531
00:42:08,660 --> 00:42:17,660
And I did, I took about 29 steps backwards to see the bigger and bigger and bigger picture

532
00:42:17,660 --> 00:42:29,660
So I had been pushing these guys, local law enforcement and the crooks and, you know, key people, I'd been pushing them harder and harder

533
00:42:29,660 --> 00:42:34,660
Let's start doing their jobs, you know, start making arrests, start making convictions

534
00:42:34,660 --> 00:42:41,660
Had a couple of conversations with the crooked judges

535
00:42:41,660 --> 00:42:45,660
And I had been pushing, and that word was getting around

536
00:42:45,660 --> 00:42:54,660
And one day, just a day or two later, I happened to be in to visit a friend of mine, he had been the coroner, he had retired

537
00:42:54,660 --> 00:42:59,660
He had opened a gun shop and, you know, walked in, shook hands, how are you doing, what's going on

538
00:42:59,660 --> 00:43:05,660
And we talked for a couple of minutes and he said, well, I want to tell you something

539
00:43:05,660 --> 00:43:13,660
If it should ever come that you and your family need to get out of this town

540
00:43:13,660 --> 00:43:18,660
I want to tell you, don't worry, we're going to take care of you

541
00:43:18,660 --> 00:43:20,660
And we'll do whatever we have to do

542
00:43:20,660 --> 00:43:27,660
Maybe it'll be, you know, under a bunch of bales of hay in the back of a truck

543
00:43:27,660 --> 00:43:34,660
Whatever, don't worry about it, we'll get you out

544
00:43:34,660 --> 00:43:38,660
And I thought, well, that's an odd thing to say

545
00:43:38,660 --> 00:43:47,660
And I said, well, thanks, I don't think I'll be needing that service, but you know, thanks, that's nice

546
00:43:47,660 --> 00:43:55,660
At that time we still didn't really have any plans of leaving, you know, maybe some day we thought we had bought a ranch out there

547
00:43:55,660 --> 00:43:59,660
And we were happy, we had a bunch of horses, we were buying horses from the Indians

548
00:43:59,660 --> 00:44:09,660
And you know, except for the people, except for that 8%

549
00:44:09,660 --> 00:44:17,660
Well, actually, what was the breakdown, it was 8% Chicano, 2% Sicilian

550
00:44:17,660 --> 00:44:27,660
So the 10%, I guess, except for that 10%, life was pretty good, Indians were fine, no problem, Indians liked them, no problem

551
00:44:27,660 --> 00:44:29,660
Learned a lot from them

552
00:44:29,660 --> 00:44:33,660
Anyway, so I departed the gun store and went home

553
00:44:33,660 --> 00:44:41,660
I believe it was that night, my wife called from the restaurant I was at home at the ranch

554
00:44:41,660 --> 00:44:43,660
And she called from the restaurant

555
00:44:43,660 --> 00:44:47,660
And she said, she just said a very odd thing happened

556
00:44:47,660 --> 00:44:51,660
She said she was in the restaurant, got a call

557
00:44:51,660 --> 00:45:05,660
And somebody gave her the phone and she said hello, and the man, male voice said hello, I'm going to give you a number

558
00:45:05,660 --> 00:45:07,660
No, what did he say?

559
00:45:07,660 --> 00:45:09,660
No, he didn't give her any number

560
00:45:09,660 --> 00:45:15,660
He said I want you to go to a phone booth at the intersection of such and such right now

561
00:45:15,660 --> 00:45:21,660
And try not to be followed, and just wait, that phone's going to ring

562
00:45:21,660 --> 00:45:23,660
In those days we had phone booths

563
00:45:23,660 --> 00:45:26,660
And she thought, what the fuck is this?

564
00:45:26,660 --> 00:45:28,660
So she hung up

565
00:45:28,660 --> 00:45:37,660
In those days, at that time, and for, I don't know, 8 to 12 months prior to that

566
00:45:37,660 --> 00:45:48,660
She went to and from her car at the restaurant carrying a Sadov 10 gauge, not a 12 gauge, a 10 gauge shotgun

567
00:45:48,660 --> 00:45:58,660
She was like 5'2", and I don't know, 29 pounds or some damn thing, and she could still shoot that thing, and she would

568
00:45:58,660 --> 00:46:03,660
And that's how she got to and from the restaurant

569
00:46:03,660 --> 00:46:13,660
Anyway, so she picked that thing up, chambered it around, and hoofed it through the night over to this intersection, found the phone booth, went inside, it rang

570
00:46:13,660 --> 00:46:22,660
And she answered it, and the same male voice said hello, this is so-and-so Bob, you know, whatever, I don't remember his name

571
00:46:22,660 --> 00:46:33,660
He said, I'm the retired FBI agent who was in charge of your case here in this town, you know, trying to get to the bottom of what the hell's going on

572
00:46:33,660 --> 00:46:41,660
And I want to tell you something, and I want you to listen to me very carefully and closely and do what I tell you, period

573
00:46:41,660 --> 00:46:46,660
There's going to be no discussion, you're going to do what I tell you

574
00:46:46,660 --> 00:46:51,660
And she said, well, okay, you know, maybe

575
00:46:51,660 --> 00:47:02,660
And he said, on a certain night, and I can't remember which night, it was like three or four nights in the future

576
00:47:02,660 --> 00:47:12,660
Local law enforcement is going to come into your ranch, and they're going to hit you with a search warrant, and they're going to search the place, and they're going to find drugs

577
00:47:12,660 --> 00:47:29,660
And you and your husband and your son, who was eight or something at that time, nine, I don't know, you're going to try to escape, and they're going to gun you down, they're going to kill all three of you

578
00:47:29,660 --> 00:47:32,660
Probably your dog too, you know, whatever

579
00:47:32,660 --> 00:47:40,660
And he said, get out, there's nothing more I can do, this is too deep for me, there's nothing more I can do

580
00:47:40,660 --> 00:47:45,660
And he alluded to the notion that even if he was still in the FBI, they couldn't touch it either

581
00:47:45,660 --> 00:47:52,660
He said the cartel that was operating there had tentacles going all the way back to Washington, D.C.

582
00:47:52,660 --> 00:47:58,660
They were impervious, they were immune, they could not be touched, they could do whatever they wanted

583
00:47:58,660 --> 00:48:03,660
And he was done, he was officially folding up, and that was his last communication

584
00:48:03,660 --> 00:48:14,660
And he just said, get out, get out now as quickly as you can, you've got until whatever it was, you know, it was like next Tuesday or something, whatever

585
00:48:14,660 --> 00:48:28,660
And he hung up, and she called me, told him, told me what he had said, and I said close the restaurant now, come home, start packing, we're out of here tomorrow

586
00:48:28,660 --> 00:48:42,660
And that's what we did, she cried for days, sobbed for days

587
00:48:42,660 --> 00:48:51,660
We took one dog, left all horses, left everything, left the ranch, just let it foreclose

588
00:48:51,660 --> 00:49:05,660
The corporation understood, they knew how bad it was, and we did put our most valuable things in an old man's barn, rented the barn from him

589
00:49:05,660 --> 00:49:11,660
We moved that stuff over there in the night so nobody knew, could have probably seen us

590
00:49:11,660 --> 00:49:21,660
And he was a good old guy, and I'm sure he wouldn't have told anybody, as it turned out he didn't tell anybody

591
00:49:21,660 --> 00:49:27,660
And we got in the car, we had a couple of cars, we had two or three cars

592
00:49:27,660 --> 00:49:40,660
Oh yeah, we took two of them, I remember we took two of them, we just packed suitcases and we fled, F-L-E-D, we fled

593
00:49:40,660 --> 00:49:49,660
And we drove into another state, we didn't know where to go, we had money, we had savings and stuff, so that wasn't really a problem

594
00:49:49,660 --> 00:49:58,660
We just didn't know where to go, and our brains and our souls were so profoundly scrambled

595
00:49:58,660 --> 00:50:08,660
We didn't know which way was up, we didn't know good from evil, we didn't know anything

596
00:50:08,660 --> 00:50:20,660
It's like we had been sucked up in tornadoes and spun up into the stratosphere and then dumped out onto the ground

597
00:50:20,660 --> 00:50:26,660
Naked and cold and alone, that's pretty much how we felt

598
00:50:26,660 --> 00:50:40,660
And so we just drove, we got to the border of that state and we kind of let out a huh, thank you God, thank you God for letting us get out of that state

599
00:50:40,660 --> 00:50:48,660
We didn't know if we would have gotten pulled over for 10 miles over

600
00:50:48,660 --> 00:50:57,660
And they would have run our names, maybe we would have gotten flagged and they would have just taken us out right there on the highway, 10 miles before the border of the state or something, we didn't know

601
00:50:57,660 --> 00:51:08,660
So we were pretty happy when we hit that border and we thought okay, we're out of that state, we drove into another state, drove like a day and a night into another state

602
00:51:08,660 --> 00:51:20,660
And we thought okay, that chapter of our lives is over, we survived it, thank you Jesus again

603
00:51:20,660 --> 00:51:26,660
I thanked God and the great pumpkin just in case they were mates

604
00:51:26,660 --> 00:51:44,660
So we went into a hotel in a little town, well okay we went into a hotel, now I'll start giving names and places, we went into a hotel in Flagstaff, Arizona

605
00:51:44,660 --> 00:51:57,660
Summer, it was nice, beautiful, but the hotel was raucous, oh I'm sorry not a hotel, it was a motel, but it was raucous, it was a tourist season and the tourists were drunk and they were loud and they were stupid

606
00:51:57,660 --> 00:52:06,660
And we couldn't handle drunk and loud and stupid, it wasn't in us to handle that, we needed silence

607
00:52:06,660 --> 00:52:14,660
Cats have this thing and I've had a couple of cats do it and I've taken them to the vet because I felt they were going to die

608
00:52:14,660 --> 00:52:25,660
Sometimes cats will just kind of, they just go weird, they just lay down somewhere, maybe in a corner, maybe not even in a corner, and they won't get up

609
00:52:25,660 --> 00:52:36,660
And you talk to them and you bring them treats and they just look at you like no I couldn't possibly but thanks for the offer, they won't even lift their head up a lot of times

610
00:52:36,660 --> 00:52:46,660
You pick them up and try to cuddle with them and they'll just slowly get down and go back to some weird place and lay down and they won't move

611
00:52:46,660 --> 00:52:57,660
And so two of them that I can remember we took to the vet, different times, years apart, and each time the vet said well you know check them out, there's nothing wrong with them at all

612
00:52:57,660 --> 00:53:10,660
You know they're perfectly healthy cats, but something has stressed them and when cats get super stressed this is what they do, they just lay down, they can't move anymore, they're done

613
00:53:10,660 --> 00:53:20,660
And we said well what the hell, you know, are they in psychotherapy, what the hell can we do? And both vets said no, the best thing is you find a room, closet, a bedroom, whatever you got

614
00:53:20,660 --> 00:53:35,660
That's dark or very semi-dark, it's quiet, good temperature, you put some water and food in there and you close the door and you do not open the door for as long as it takes

615
00:53:35,660 --> 00:53:42,660
It might take 24 hours, it might take a week, and you just leave them the hell alone

616
00:53:42,660 --> 00:53:52,660
And at some point, you know, as you peek in there you realize that they're up and they're moving around and then it's fine, open the door, they'll come out, they're normal, they're back, you know, back among the living

617
00:53:52,660 --> 00:54:02,660
And that's the point we were at, we were at catatonic, catatonic, you know, we were done, we were done with life

618
00:54:02,660 --> 00:54:14,660
My wife talked to me very seriously about, you know, some kind of scenario of murder, suicide, because she wanted us all to be off the earth

619
00:54:14,660 --> 00:54:19,660
She couldn't take it anymore, she had been fighting that for three years

620
00:54:19,660 --> 00:54:25,660
She wanted us, the earth was not a place she wanted to be, she didn't want any of us to be there

621
00:54:25,660 --> 00:54:32,660
And she just wanted us all to go away somewhere together

622
00:54:32,660 --> 00:54:36,660
Jesus

623
00:54:36,660 --> 00:54:45,660
And so this hotel, this motel in Flagstaff, just wasn't what we could take, it just wasn't our style right then

624
00:54:45,660 --> 00:55:00,660
And so we packed everything up and we drove quite a way south, I think 30-40 minutes south, just into the woods, into the pine forest down there, Coconino County

625
00:55:00,660 --> 00:55:14,660
And we set up a camp and we tried to relax, we had a couple of tents and we just tried to relax, we tried to be the cat, you know, tried to reset our circuits

626
00:55:14,660 --> 00:55:23,660
We'd been there for a day or two, middle of nowhere, a tiny little dirt road, you know, you wouldn't expect you'd ever see anybody around there

627
00:55:23,660 --> 00:55:34,660
And my son and I were walking down that road just to see what was down that road, afternoon, and we see there's a pickup, there was a pickup head run off the road

628
00:55:34,660 --> 00:55:48,660
And we thought, oh what the heck, it was an accident, you know, and then we realized there was two guys on their knees, hands and knees on the ground, there was a, it looked like a woman on the ground, prone, on her back

629
00:55:48,660 --> 00:55:55,660
And it looked like they were working on her, like they were giving her, trying to resuscitate her, something like that, chest compression, something like that

630
00:55:55,660 --> 00:56:02,660
And I said, what the hell, you know, so we started kind of trotting over there, it was about 40 yards ahead of us

631
00:56:02,660 --> 00:56:12,660
Looking at them, staring at them, trying to figure out, you know, is she going to sit up, or what's going on, and there was no damage to the truck, it was just out there, you know, off the road with the doors open

632
00:56:12,660 --> 00:56:24,660
And we got pretty close, probably 20 yards, and I realized, no, they weren't trying to resuscitate her, they were choking her, they were choking her to death, both of them, they were choking her to death

633
00:56:24,660 --> 00:56:34,660
I said, oh son of a bitch, what the hell is going on here, and my first thought was that, you know, maybe it was some prostitute they had picked up somewhere and they took her out there and bited her, and now they're killing her, that's what I thought

634
00:56:34,660 --> 00:56:45,660
And I told my son to run as fast as you can, back to the camp, get my rifle as fast as you can, you bring it here as fast as you can, and he did, he ran like a freaking horse

635
00:56:45,660 --> 00:56:58,660
And I got my gun and gave it to me and I chambered around and started walking towards them, yelling for them to stop, and I'm thinking by now, you know, they've been choking her all this time, she's probably dead by now

636
00:56:58,660 --> 00:57:09,660
But I just kept walking at them, kind of a slow trot thing, and they looked up at me and then went back to choking her harder

637
00:57:09,660 --> 00:57:20,660
So I yelled some more, held up the rifle, they did the same thing, I pointed it at them, they did the same thing, by this time I'm 20 feet from them, and I chambered around

638
00:57:20,660 --> 00:57:29,660
And said, that's it, you're dead, I'm gonna kill you both, and they slowly, grudgingly let go over

639
00:57:29,660 --> 00:57:39,660
And sort of stood up, you know, the real smart ass attitude, they had him dead at gunpoint

640
00:57:39,660 --> 00:57:58,660
And then the weirdest thing happened, the woman started sputtering and coughing, and she rolled over, and I thought, oh god, at least she's not dead, and I'm like, hey lady, lady, lady, come on over here, come over here, come over here

641
00:57:58,660 --> 00:58:02,660
And she wouldn't

642
00:58:02,660 --> 00:58:12,660
And I got a look at her, she slowly got up, she was old, an old Mexican woman, and these two guys were younger Mexican guys

643
00:58:12,660 --> 00:58:24,660
And I thought, what in the fuck is going on here, what the hell, we've come from the frying pan into the fire, what in the fucking hell kind of goddamn loony

644
00:58:24,660 --> 00:58:29,660
Dante's fucking inferno have we gotten into now

645
00:58:29,660 --> 00:58:44,660
And she hopped into the passenger side of the truck, no coaxing, she just hopped in, and the other guys gave me dirty looks and flipped me off and got in the truck and slowly drove away

646
00:58:44,660 --> 00:58:57,660
And I thought, oh my god, this is madness, we're down Alice's goddamn rabbit hole, this is just fucking crazy shit, so that was the days before cell phones, we didn't have any communication, we went back to the campsite

647
00:58:57,660 --> 00:59:06,660
And it was only a few minutes later we saw some little car driving by, somebody just out looking at nature, you know, and we ran out and stopped them

648
00:59:06,660 --> 00:59:17,660
And they said, yeah, they're going to town, and I said, okay, when you get to town, you know, remember this position where we are, try to remember where we are and call the sheriff telling them to come out here, because we need to file a report

649
00:59:17,660 --> 00:59:33,660
And they said, okay, and so it was quite a while, like two or three hours later, the sheriff showed up, you know, I felt bad for him, he had a regular sedan of whatever type, and he's scraping and clanking and hitting rocks, you know, trying to drive out there to us, but he showed up

650
00:59:33,660 --> 00:59:49,660
And we told him the story, and he said, okay, he had an idea, let him, he wanted to go check it out, so he goes and he comes back an hour later, and he said, he found him, he had an idea who the hell they were

651
00:59:49,660 --> 01:00:06,660
That's a man that knows his local territory, and he went and found him, he freaking drove to wherever they were, and he found him, and he talked to them all, and they all admitted, yeah, we were going to kill her, we were tired of her, she was causing some kind of grief or some death, we were killing her

652
01:00:06,660 --> 01:00:15,660
And then this asshole came along, he made a stop, you know, fucking asshole, we'll get him later, you know, and the sheriff said, okay, you know, under arrest

653
01:00:15,660 --> 01:00:23,660
And the lady said, no, no, they never did anything, we were just horsing around, it was all a game, yeah, that's what it was

654
01:00:23,660 --> 01:00:32,660
And she wouldn't press any kind of charges at all, well, it turned out she was their mother

655
01:00:32,660 --> 01:00:43,660
And he said it was a really hard thing to just drive away from there, but she would not even give a statement to any kind of incriminating anything, and there was nothing he could do, and he had to drive away

656
01:00:43,660 --> 01:00:52,660
He said that we had certainly saved her life for that moment, but they were just going to kill her later, tomorrow, next day, next week, whatever

657
01:00:52,660 --> 01:01:01,660
And, you know, at that point I was like, okay, well, you know, just don't do it in front of me, I don't fucking care anymore, just leave us the fuck along, do it somewhere else

658
01:01:01,660 --> 01:01:08,660
I just didn't care, that's how down in the goddamn bottom of the well we were

659
01:01:08,660 --> 01:01:22,660
So, that was the end of that story, it was about two or three days later, we saw another little car drive by

660
01:01:22,660 --> 01:01:32,660
And I just had a funny feeling about that little car, there was a guy in it

661
01:01:32,660 --> 01:01:40,660
He wasn't doing anything wrong, he was just slowly driving by, he didn't look at us, he just drove by

662
01:01:40,660 --> 01:01:44,660
And then he was gone

663
01:01:44,660 --> 01:01:51,660
And

664
01:01:51,660 --> 01:02:00,660
We ended up having to go back to the motel for a period of a few days

665
01:02:00,660 --> 01:02:07,660
I don't remember why the hell we had to do that, but maybe restock supplies, that's probably what it was, we had to restock supplies or something like that

666
01:02:07,660 --> 01:02:13,660
And, you know, wash clothes, and, you know, work on the car, whatever the hell, whatever

667
01:02:13,660 --> 01:02:24,660
So we did, we went back to, we didn't go back to that motel, we went to a KOA campground, a pretty nice KOA there in Flagstaff

668
01:02:24,660 --> 01:02:36,660
And we got checked in there, and we'd been there a couple of days, and life was okay, and we're thinking, well, you know, geez, maybe we'll stay here a while, you know

669
01:02:36,660 --> 01:02:45,660
Because it was okay, it was quiet, and the management was keeping it quiet, and it was, you know, we could go to 7-Eleven, you know, and shit like that

670
01:02:45,660 --> 01:02:49,660
And we weren't fighting off rattlesnakes and stuff

671
01:02:49,660 --> 01:02:56,660
And so we're hanging around there doing that, just living, just, you know, still trying to unwind

672
01:02:56,660 --> 01:03:05,660
And from the Chicano bullshit

673
01:03:05,660 --> 01:03:16,660
And the news came to us, I don't remember how, maybe it was newspaper, just talk around the campground, I'm not sure

674
01:03:16,660 --> 01:03:29,660
The news came to us that a little girl had disappeared down in the pine forest south of Flagstaff, still in Coconino County

675
01:03:29,660 --> 01:03:33,660
And we thought, oh, geez, well, that's terrible

676
01:03:33,660 --> 01:03:49,660
And it turned out that, as we kept hearing more about it, it turned out that she had disappeared from a point about a mile, not even that, three-quarters of a mile from where we were camped

677
01:03:49,660 --> 01:03:56,660
And we thought, what in the hell, what the hell kind of place is this?

678
01:03:56,660 --> 01:04:07,660
And then the news came to us that a car was seen leaving the scene, they had found this little girl's bike alongside the road, and a car was seen leaving that

679
01:04:07,660 --> 01:04:19,660
And it was a little car, and the description was just like the little car that I had seen driving by our campground

680
01:04:19,660 --> 01:04:27,660
And then, of course, the guilt sits in at that point, you know, you saw that car, asshole, you felt funny about that car, asshole, why didn't you go fucking look at that car?

681
01:04:27,660 --> 01:04:35,660
You could have just stopped and said, hey, man, how you doing? We're lost, you know, got any water? And then, you know, you're looking at his car and shit like that

682
01:04:35,660 --> 01:04:53,660
You could have done that, I could have done that, but I didn't fucking do it, because it was such a minor alert in the back of my brain, it was such a small alert, I just didn't take it seriously

683
01:04:53,660 --> 01:05:02,660
So anyway, we're listening to that story, and, you know, police are looking for this little girl, I think she was like 11 or 12, something like that

684
01:05:02,660 --> 01:05:13,660
Her family had been camping a little ways away from where her bike was found, so she was on her bike, just riding around looking at nature

685
01:05:13,660 --> 01:05:23,660
And, you know, the story was buzzing around, and that's all there was to it, we didn't really have any knowledge of it

686
01:05:23,660 --> 01:05:38,660
I didn't, you know, go tell anybody about that car, because other people had seen it, and I couldn't add anything to it, I didn't see the plates, I didn't see no description of the guy inside, there was nothing I could offer, so I didn't bother them

687
01:05:38,660 --> 01:05:55,660
And then, three days later, there was a weird guy living in a, I don't know, like a six-foot, little ancient travel trailer thing, it wasn't six foot, it might have been 15 feet, something like that, really small, ancient thing

688
01:05:55,660 --> 01:06:13,660
He was living there, and had been there quite a while, I guess, and a huge, fat, weird-looking guy, which doesn't necessarily mean anything at all, no, don't judge a book by its cover, look at me for Christ's sake

689
01:06:13,660 --> 01:06:28,660
And he came to us, we'd never spoken a word to him, never made eye contact, never, no, we avoided him actually, because he was weird, but he came to us, and he said, hey, how you doing? And we sat down, can I talk to you for a minute? We sat down

690
01:06:28,660 --> 01:06:40,660
And he said, you know about that little girl who disappeared? And we said, yeah, fuck, we heard about that, we were camped not too far from where she disappeared

691
01:06:40,660 --> 01:06:55,660
And he said, I want you to go to the police and tell them that I was here in the campground that day

692
01:06:55,660 --> 01:07:07,660
And I said, well, first of all, we weren't in the campground that day, so we can't say you were in the campground that day, and even if we were, you know, if we didn't see you in the campground, I'm not going to fucking tell them that

693
01:07:07,660 --> 01:07:17,660
And he got really insistent about it, almost angry, and he just kept pushing, pushing, pushing, he wanted me to go to the police, or the FBI I think had it at that time

694
01:07:17,660 --> 01:07:25,660
And he wanted me to just swear out a statement saying that I saw him in that campground

695
01:07:25,660 --> 01:07:38,660
And instantly, you know, my hackles are up, it's like, okay, well, they got him targeted, you know, they know something about him, and he's looking for an alibi, and he's really one stupid fucking son of a bitch to just go ask a stranger

696
01:07:38,660 --> 01:07:52,660
You know, an ex-federal agent, for Christ's sake, he didn't know that, but what the fuck, what the fuck, Jesus Christ, it seemed like every couple of days there was some kind of major motherfucking malfunction going on in this place

697
01:07:52,660 --> 01:08:00,660
It was just a fucking crazy place, and I just said, no, we're not going to fucking do it, no

698
01:08:00,660 --> 01:08:09,660
And he said, okay, well, I want you to think about it anyway, and then next time you go by my trailer, you tell me your final decision

699
01:08:09,660 --> 01:08:17,660
And I thought, fuck you, what the, Jesus Christ, now you're making me want to go to the police and tell them you asked me to do this

700
01:08:17,660 --> 01:08:27,660
And he said, okay, see you later, and so we went down and ate or something and got done and came back and we were walking by his trailer and I just, you know, I got kind of a little hair trigger sometimes

701
01:08:27,660 --> 01:08:36,660
And I snapped, and my son was with me, and I said, you know, I'm going to talk to this motherfucker, I'm going to fucking talk to him

702
01:08:36,660 --> 01:08:50,660
And I walked like 20 feet or something to his little trailer, knocked on the door, and there's a whole bunch of rumbling and banging and booming and there couldn't have been more than one door in there, but it slammed

703
01:08:50,660 --> 01:09:05,660
And the little trailer thing is shaking, you know, somebody was really disturbed by my knocking on his door, and he just kind of, he sounded like a goddamn bear was going crazy in there, and then it stopped, silence

704
01:09:05,660 --> 01:09:10,660
Then I knocked a few more times and nothing, he never came to the door

705
01:09:10,660 --> 01:09:22,660
So we went on to our campsite and didn't try to contact him again

706
01:09:22,660 --> 01:09:31,660
But what I did do was call the FBI, and they came and we met him at a place where he couldn't see us

707
01:09:31,660 --> 01:09:40,660
And I told them every detail of what had happened from start to finish, and they said, oh, what the hell, well that sounds interesting

708
01:09:40,660 --> 01:09:52,660
And they went down and knocked on his door, and he opened the door, and they talked to him for a little while

709
01:09:52,660 --> 01:10:05,660
And then they came back and talked to us, and they said, at the time that you knocked on his door, he wasn't in there, he swears he was not in that trailer

710
01:10:05,660 --> 01:10:13,660
They said, well, fuck I don't know, somebody was, somebody big and heavy was, because they were rocking that trailer, and he was a big fat guy

711
01:10:13,660 --> 01:10:24,660
And they said, no, he swears he wasn't in that trailer, he wasn't anywhere around that trailer, and I said, well, whatever, that's up for you guys to figure out now, it's not my case, it's up to you

712
01:10:24,660 --> 01:10:38,660
I never handled cases like that anyway, I was mostly narcotics and intergovernmental scammers and shit like that

713
01:10:38,660 --> 01:10:43,660
So I said, okay, whatever, it's up to you, you figure it out, so they went away

714
01:10:43,660 --> 01:11:04,660
And the next day or two days later, they came back and met with me, and they said, well, it turns out that this guy is a friend, this big fat guy, the suspect, is a friend of another FBI agent

715
01:11:04,660 --> 01:11:19,660
And we talked to that FBI agent, and he says he swears he can vouch for this man's character, and so therefore he's off the hook, don't bother him

716
01:11:19,660 --> 01:11:29,660
And I was just incredulous, I was like, I don't give a fucking rat's ass who swears for his character, I don't fucking care, I want to know where he was, and you should want to know where he was too

717
01:11:29,660 --> 01:11:42,660
You know, what the fuck is going on here? And they said, well, we really pressed this other agent, our brother the agent, and he just kept saying, well, he vouches for the guy's character, that's it, that's done

718
01:11:42,660 --> 01:11:48,660
The guy's not on the suspect list, he's not a person of interest, he's nothing

719
01:11:48,660 --> 01:11:54,660
And I said, look, you've got to find out where he was, you've got to find out where he was at a couple of different times

720
01:11:54,660 --> 01:12:05,660
Have you searched his trailer, have you done any fucking thing? And they said no, you know, this other guy vouched for his character, not for his whereabouts or anything else, just vouched for his character

721
01:12:05,660 --> 01:12:09,660
That's it, we're done, have a nice day, and they left

722
01:12:09,660 --> 01:12:15,660
And as far as I know, they never solved the case, as far as I know, she was never found

723
01:12:15,660 --> 01:12:19,660
I don't know if this guy did it

724
01:12:19,660 --> 01:12:28,660
But I tell this part of the story just to show what a bizarre motherfucking place that was

725
01:12:28,660 --> 01:12:36,660
It was every bit as crazy as the horrible hell hole we had just come from

726
01:12:36,660 --> 01:12:40,660
It was insane, insane

727
01:12:40,660 --> 01:12:58,660
You know, there's the old saying, and God, I must quote this to myself five times a day, hell, comma, is the impossibility of reason

728
01:12:58,660 --> 01:13:07,660
So we came to the conclusion that the entire fucking place was hell

729
01:13:07,660 --> 01:13:11,660
So after this, we didn't want to stay in the campground anymore

730
01:13:11,660 --> 01:13:16,660
And we looked on the map and we found a really nice place called Weimer Springs

731
01:13:16,660 --> 01:13:27,660
I think it's W-E-I-M-E-R, Springs, it was an aspen grove, away south of Flagstaff, I can't remember how far, 30-40 miles, something like that

732
01:13:27,660 --> 01:13:36,660
Out in the pine forest, except this was an aspen grove, so we figured, God, it looks quiet, you know, it's kind of like a dead end road

733
01:13:36,660 --> 01:13:46,660
And let's just go there for a while, because our brains were actually kind of getting more scrambled than they were leaving the town with the restaurant

734
01:13:46,660 --> 01:13:57,660
We were just fucking, Jesus Christ, we just couldn't believe that any place, any people could be so goddamn fucked up, we couldn't believe it

735
01:13:57,660 --> 01:14:02,660
It was not registering, so we just needed quiet, we're like the cats, you know

736
01:14:02,660 --> 01:14:11,660
We're like the traumatized cats, we just needed a dark motherfucking place for a couple of months, whatever, as long as it took

737
01:14:11,660 --> 01:14:17,660
So we drove down to Weimer Springs, way the hell out in the middle of nowhere

738
01:14:17,660 --> 01:14:27,660
And it was just beautiful, it was a pastoral scene, there's hills and it was all beautiful, aspens everywhere

739
01:14:27,660 --> 01:14:38,660
And in the middle of this was a huge pasture kind of a thing, green grass and coolish chimps and nobody around

740
01:14:38,660 --> 01:14:47,660
And old campsites everywhere, we could take our pick, God, it was just exactly what we needed

741
01:14:47,660 --> 01:15:01,660
And we found a campsite off by itself, and set up camp, and my wife and son went walking around for whatever, with a rifle

742
01:15:01,660 --> 01:15:11,660
And I laid down in my tent to just purge off, gas off some stress, you know

743
01:15:11,660 --> 01:15:20,660
And I was laying there and for about 30 seconds I was feeling pretty good, I was feeling, man, okay, well, you know, this is kind of a semi-magical place

744
01:15:20,660 --> 01:15:28,660
I'm just going to lay here and I'm going to soak up some good thoughts and I'm going to purge off some bad thoughts

745
01:15:28,660 --> 01:15:34,660
And maybe if I can do this for long enough I'll start thinking life is worth living again

746
01:15:34,660 --> 01:15:41,660
And I heard a vehicle coming and it just came closer and closer and closer to me, there's no one anywhere around

747
01:15:41,660 --> 01:15:50,660
But I heard this vehicle coming and it stopped like 10 feet outside of my tent, it had to drive off the road and up into the grass to get to my tent

748
01:15:50,660 --> 01:15:59,660
And I thought, what in the fucking hell, please God, please just give me some little time to be peaceful, you know, please

749
01:15:59,660 --> 01:16:08,660
And I got out of the tent and there was a guy in a pickup with his girlfriend, nasty old pickup, nasty old guy

750
01:16:08,660 --> 01:16:16,660
And he's got his truck about 5-6 feet from my tent, pointing at my tent

751
01:16:16,660 --> 01:16:25,660
And I walk up to his driver's side window and he rolls the window down and he says, move your fucking tent

752
01:16:25,660 --> 01:16:32,660
I thought, my God, I really have died and gone to hell, I'm in hell now

753
01:16:32,660 --> 01:16:43,660
There was nowhere to go, he could easily drive around my tent or he could go back on the road and drive somewhere, anywhere he wanted to go on the road

754
01:16:43,660 --> 01:16:54,660
But no, he had pulled directly up to my tent and was demanding that I move my tent so he could drive over that spot

755
01:16:54,660 --> 01:17:02,660
And he's got the engine razzin', smoke belching out the tailpipe

756
01:17:02,660 --> 01:17:08,660
And I said, you're one insane motherfucker, where do you think you're going to go?

757
01:17:08,660 --> 01:17:14,660
And he said something about he wanted to go someplace and pick some berries or some fucking thing

758
01:17:14,660 --> 01:17:24,660
And I said, well, for 50 yards either side of my tent, it's just bare, smooth grass

759
01:17:24,660 --> 01:17:30,660
What reason do you have for wanting to drive exactly where my tent is?

760
01:17:30,660 --> 01:17:37,660
And he had some bullshit about, well that's not an established campsite, something like that

761
01:17:37,660 --> 01:17:42,660
Well, there were no established campsites there

762
01:17:42,660 --> 01:17:50,660
And there was a fire pit there that was probably 20, 30 years old and there forever

763
01:17:50,660 --> 01:17:56,660
And he just got more and more insane about this issue

764
01:17:56,660 --> 01:18:07,660
And I finally walked back to the tent and picked up a rifle, chambered around and went and stood in front of the truck and said, go for it, just go, just try it

765
01:18:07,660 --> 01:18:13,660
Because I didn't care, I was going to kill him, I would just kill him, through the windshield, I didn't care, I was going to kill him

766
01:18:13,660 --> 01:18:22,660
Try it, I had been pushed back as far as I could be pushed back, I could not back up anymore in life

767
01:18:22,660 --> 01:18:31,660
And his girlfriend about that time, she went medieval on his ass and was screaming at him

768
01:18:31,660 --> 01:18:42,660
I've never seen you act like this, what is your fucking problem, I'll kick your ass myself, get out of this fucking truck, I'll drive it home myself, just on and on like that

769
01:18:42,660 --> 01:18:49,660
And he tried to maintain his position against that barrage of relative logic

770
01:18:49,660 --> 01:18:53,660
And she just kept beating him down, beating him down, beating him down

771
01:18:53,660 --> 01:19:00,660
And finally he put the truck in reverse and slowly backed away and then drove off somewhere and we never saw him again

772
01:19:00,660 --> 01:19:06,660
That's just another tidbit of what that place was like

773
01:19:06,660 --> 01:19:12,660
So I think we got about 24 hours after that of calm and peace, we didn't see anybody

774
01:19:12,660 --> 01:19:19,660
Oh God, it was so nice, it was one of the loveliest times of my life for all of us

775
01:19:19,660 --> 01:19:33,660
And then one afternoon a couple of cars showed up and they parked quite a ways away from us, 100 yards something like that

776
01:19:33,660 --> 01:19:43,660
And we were thinking, oh well, it's the weekend, whatever, we're bound to have some more campers, they were a long way away and they were quiet, who cares, maybe we'll make some friends

777
01:19:43,660 --> 01:19:55,660
And then more cars and more cars and more cars showed up and they just kept coming, they just kept pouring into this little valley thing, little meadow thing

778
01:19:55,660 --> 01:20:08,660
And it finally got to the point where there was probably 100 cars, yeah, could have been 100 cars, 8200 cars, something like that

779
01:20:08,660 --> 01:20:14,660
And we thought, my God, this is some big goddamn club thing going on

780
01:20:14,660 --> 01:20:20,660
And they were so quiet and we thought, okay, no problem

781
01:20:20,660 --> 01:20:25,660
And they were mostly a ways away from us

782
01:20:25,660 --> 01:20:33,660
But pretty soon the kids came out and the kids are running through our campsite

783
01:20:33,660 --> 01:20:44,660
There was a bunch of teenagers out in the pasture, they had the whole place to play catch in, but they had to come over, of course, close to our campground, so they did

784
01:20:44,660 --> 01:20:58,660
And somebody would miss a throw, baseballs and footballs, and somebody would miss a throw and the ball would end up hitting our little picnic area and knocking shit over

785
01:20:58,660 --> 01:21:07,660
I didn't say anything, I didn't have anything left in me to say anything, I would just throw the ball back to them, clean up the stuff, the spilled food and stuff

786
01:21:07,660 --> 01:21:13,660
But they just got worse and worse and worse, they got more and more raucous

787
01:21:13,660 --> 01:21:19,660
And we were thinking, my God, I don't know if we're going to make it through this night

788
01:21:19,660 --> 01:21:30,660
Maybe we're going to have to pull up everything and leave, but we didn't know where to go and we were dog tired, physically and spiritually, in every possible way

789
01:21:30,660 --> 01:21:37,660
And it was getting on towards dark, and what are we going to do, are we going to drive around in the dark and try to find a campsite?

790
01:21:37,660 --> 01:21:42,660
Really, maybe it'll be okay, maybe it's okay

791
01:21:42,660 --> 01:22:05,660
And then just about dusk, we hear a really big engine and what comes off the road but a flatbed, semi, with an entire rock band on the back of it

792
01:22:05,660 --> 01:22:16,660
And we thought, oh my God, God hates us, God hates us, that's all, that's the only possible explanation

793
01:22:16,660 --> 01:22:25,660
And we were not particularly religious people, we were Christians brought up that way

794
01:22:25,660 --> 01:22:40,660
We had been talking of late, that maybe it's time we got involved with the Church because we needed some kind of grounding, we needed some kind of base, we needed some kind of home base

795
01:22:40,660 --> 01:22:44,660
Some logic and some reason and some understanding

796
01:22:44,660 --> 01:22:53,660
And we had talked about a particular Church that I thought probably was the best one of all the Churches

797
01:22:53,660 --> 01:22:58,660
At the end of this I'm going to tell you the name of that Church, but for now we're going to call it the Church of the Great Pumpkin

798
01:22:58,660 --> 01:23:06,660
Just because you've got to call it something, you know, I call it the Church of the Red Boulder, it doesn't matter

799
01:23:06,660 --> 01:23:12,660
But we're going to call it the Church of the Great Pumpkin just to assign a name for it, to it for now

800
01:23:12,660 --> 01:23:22,660
So we had been talking about the Church of the Great Pumpkin, thinking, you know, maybe that's the one, maybe we should go find one and talk to him

801
01:23:22,660 --> 01:23:36,660
And anyway, so they set up this rock band on the back of this trailer, huge generators and a forklift and lights and the whole goddamn fucking thing

802
01:23:36,660 --> 01:23:57,660
And then they went to town playing rock and the people were over there dancing like fools and guzzling beer and we thought, oh my God, this has the possibility to get really ugly, this could really turn ugly

803
01:23:57,660 --> 01:24:09,660
There's no phones out there, there's no cell phones, there's no police, there's nothing, we didn't know what kind of group this was, and the kids kept running through the camp, through our camp

804
01:24:09,660 --> 01:24:20,660
Sometimes they'd like, you know, throw plastic garbage on our fire and stuff like that and we would tell them, please don't do that, please don't do that

805
01:24:20,660 --> 01:24:28,660
And we kept hearing them sort of whisper amongst themselves and they would look at us and they'd say, are they one of us, are they one of us?

806
01:24:28,660 --> 01:24:38,660
And we were starting to think, one of what, you know, Satan's fucking minions, Church of Satan, what the fuck, what the fuck

807
01:24:38,660 --> 01:24:58,660
Jesus, and they just got worse and worse and worse and then somebody came along and I think I asked them, they walked right through the middle of our tiny little camp

808
01:24:58,660 --> 01:25:13,660
And I asked them, what group are you with? And the woman, the mom said, well we're with the Church of the Great Pumpkin

809
01:25:13,660 --> 01:25:19,660
And this is a father and son weekend, we do it every year here

810
01:25:19,660 --> 01:25:36,660
And I cannot describe the relief that we felt, because this was the Church of the Great Pumpkin, this was the one we'd been talking about and thinking about and musing over and wondering about and considering

811
01:25:36,660 --> 01:25:43,660
And we thought, oh my God, thank you, thank you sweet Jesus

812
01:25:43,660 --> 01:25:50,660
There's no way this party is going to get out of hand, you know, these are decent and respectable people

813
01:25:50,660 --> 01:26:04,660
And in the morning, when the drinking and the partying is over, we can sit down and start talking to them about their church and, you know, should we join it

814
01:26:04,660 --> 01:26:19,660
And, you know, jeez, tomorrow was going to be great, you know, oh my God, this was going to be great, great experience, you know, God had sent them to us, okay, that's what we thought

815
01:26:19,660 --> 01:26:32,660
And we actually prayed, I think it was the first time we ever prayed, in all of our years of marriage we prayed, we said thank you, thank you, we needed this so bad

816
01:26:32,660 --> 01:26:46,660
And we settled down and cooked some food and sat around in our chairs and the party of the Great Pumpkin got more and more raucous

817
01:26:46,660 --> 01:26:54,660
And there were nut piles, there were many mountains of beer cans

818
01:26:54,660 --> 01:26:59,660
And a lot of them were sourced, they were drunk

819
01:26:59,660 --> 01:27:07,660
And this went on and went on and went on and finally about 2.30am we'd had enough, we were trying to sleep

820
01:27:07,660 --> 01:27:21,660
And I went over to the nearest and most raucous group and said, hey, that's enough, really, you know, really, you know, you got a big party going on here, okay, you got lots of people, you got lots of your own people over there trying to sleep also

821
01:27:21,660 --> 01:27:31,660
I'm sure they don't appreciate this, we don't, you know, really, please, please, can you just knock it down about 18 notches, please

822
01:27:31,660 --> 01:27:44,660
And I was immediately met with a barrage of fuck yous, asshole, fuck you, we're going to get you, you know, who do you think you are, on and on and on and on, just incessant

823
01:27:44,660 --> 01:27:49,660
And I walked away, I just walked away, I didn't say anything, I just walked away

824
01:27:49,660 --> 01:28:03,660
And they kept partying and then it became a matter of them against us, you know, by this time there was probably 200-300 people there

825
01:28:03,660 --> 01:28:16,660
And it was a war of them against us and we never said a word, not one word, none of us said one word

826
01:28:16,660 --> 01:28:23,660
But they began coming over to our campsite in the dark and throwing beer cans at us

827
01:28:23,660 --> 01:28:32,660
I didn't know it at the time but some number of them had sneaked up to my son's tent, which was like 20 feet from ours

828
01:28:32,660 --> 01:28:42,660
And they would crouch down outside of his tent and tell him how they were going to kill him tonight when he was asleep

829
01:28:42,660 --> 01:28:50,660
And he said he just laid there and cried, he was afraid to yell for me, he was afraid to come out of his tent, he just laid there and cried

830
01:28:50,660 --> 01:28:55,660
Because he thought that was the night that his life was going to end

831
01:28:55,660 --> 01:29:05,660
And in the morning we found that they had dropped a bunch of.36 live rounds around his tent

832
01:29:05,660 --> 01:29:12,660
I guess that was their stupid waste of ammunition, but I guess that was their little calling card

833
01:29:12,660 --> 01:29:22,660
Like, yeah, man, we got a.38-6, that's what we're going to take you out with, I have no idea, I have no idea

834
01:29:22,660 --> 01:29:39,660
Anyway, by about quarter to three or something like that, it became, three o'clock probably, it became such a huge problem that we had stuff strewn all over the place

835
01:29:39,660 --> 01:29:45,660
It was dark, we didn't have enough lights to light anything up, and I wasn't going to stand for this crap anyway

836
01:29:45,660 --> 01:29:50,660
And I told my wife, you know, get in your little car and go find a phone booth somewhere

837
01:29:50,660 --> 01:29:54,660
I don't care if you've got to go all the way to Flagstaff, I don't care, find a phone booth

838
01:29:54,660 --> 01:30:01,660
And call the sheriff and get him out there and let's get to the bottom of this crap

839
01:30:01,660 --> 01:30:06,660
And so she did, she got in the car and she drove off, end of the night, she had never been there before

840
01:30:06,660 --> 01:30:14,660
You know, she's a little girl, she was terrified and shaken and crying

841
01:30:14,660 --> 01:30:18,660
She didn't know where to go, she didn't know if she could ever find her way back

842
01:30:18,660 --> 01:30:22,660
I just told her, Weimar Springs, we're at Weimar Springs, tell the sheriff, he'll bring you back

843
01:30:22,660 --> 01:30:30,660
You know, you probably can't come back until you get the sheriff, so, you know, that's a, that's a, you know, that's a guarantee

844
01:30:30,660 --> 01:30:37,660
You're going to complete your mission, find a phone booth, find a home, find a fire station, I don't care, whatever, stop a car, I don't care, get the sheriff out here

845
01:30:37,660 --> 01:30:48,660
And so she did, and I got my son out and we chambered around in the rifle and we just stood next to the fire

846
01:30:48,660 --> 01:30:53,660
And waited for them to come, for whatever was going to come

847
01:30:53,660 --> 01:31:02,660
You know, I had, I was a lever action piece of crap of a rifle, I, you know, I could get maybe one or two, you know, if 30 of them came at us

848
01:31:02,660 --> 01:31:11,660
I could get the first one or two and then we're going to die, you know, it was just a stupid, you know, the people, people say, Why does anybody need an assault rifle?

849
01:31:11,660 --> 01:31:19,660
Well, that's why, you stupid son of a bitch, that and the number of other situations I was in in my life, that's one of them

850
01:31:19,660 --> 01:31:30,660
I would have given a leg and an arm for an assault rifle during that night, because otherwise we had no chance whatsoever

851
01:31:30,660 --> 01:31:36,660
And we stood there for about three hours

852
01:31:36,660 --> 01:31:45,660
And finally, two sheriff's cars come back with my wife in the front, I guess, I think

853
01:31:45,660 --> 01:31:50,660
And they pulled up to us and they took our report

854
01:31:50,660 --> 01:31:53,660
And by now it's starting to get light

855
01:31:53,660 --> 01:32:02,660
And they went over and talked to the worst of the group, they're still partying over there, they're still screaming and hooting and dancing

856
01:32:02,660 --> 01:32:08,660
And they, let's see, one, two, three, I think there was three deputies, two in one car, one in the other

857
01:32:08,660 --> 01:32:19,660
And they went over and talked to this group for a while, 15 minutes, and then they came back and they said, Well, we don't know what you're talking about, you know, there's no, there's no alcohol over there, you know

858
01:32:19,660 --> 01:32:23,660
And they looked pretty quiet to us, you know

859
01:32:23,660 --> 01:32:30,660
And so then my wife and my son gave their statements, so that's three of us saying the same thing

860
01:32:30,660 --> 01:32:34,660
And they're like, Well, okay, here's what we're going to do, we've already got all their information

861
01:32:34,660 --> 01:32:47,660
And they showed me some white sheets of paper that had a bunch of their information, names and addresses and drivers license numbers of all these people in this one particular group

862
01:32:47,660 --> 01:32:52,660
Probably, you know, eight or nine, ten of them all together

863
01:32:52,660 --> 01:33:01,660
And they showed me the papers and they said, Well, what we're going to do is we're going to turn these in and they will be banned from coming to Weimar Springs, you know, forever

864
01:33:01,660 --> 01:33:04,660
Because we can't have people like that, acting like that out here

865
01:33:04,660 --> 01:33:10,660
And I said, Well, okay, you know, you do what you want to do, but I want to do more than that

866
01:33:10,660 --> 01:33:19,660
I want to try to push some charges through the prosecutor and once we get back to our home state, you know, then I'll, I want to do that

867
01:33:19,660 --> 01:33:24,660
So can I have copies of these papers? They said, Oh, no, no, we couldn't possibly do that

868
01:33:24,660 --> 01:33:30,660
And I said, Okay, you know, when I get back, we're probably three, three, four, five weeks, we'll be back to our home state

869
01:33:30,660 --> 01:33:37,660
We get settled in and I'll get an attorney down here and that attorney will subpoena your records

870
01:33:37,660 --> 01:33:41,660
And they're like, Okay, man, yeah, whatever, we're going to do whatever you want

871
01:33:41,660 --> 01:33:47,660
So we were afraid to stay there after that. We with their lights, they turned their lights on everything was getting a little bit light anyway

872
01:33:47,660 --> 01:33:56,660
And we packed up all of our stuff, whole camp site and we drove back into flight stuff

873
01:33:56,660 --> 01:34:07,660
And back to a hotel motel and we stayed there for another couple of weeks or something like that, just trying to figure out where to go

874
01:34:07,660 --> 01:34:15,660
We eventually just went back to our home state, rented a house and we didn't really want to be there at all

875
01:34:15,660 --> 01:34:22,660
You know, we just, we wanted our little ranch. That's what we wanted. We built it, we bought it, we built it

876
01:34:22,660 --> 01:34:27,660
We were happy, that's what we wanted. We just wanted to go back to our little ranch, but that was impossible

877
01:34:27,660 --> 01:34:34,660
So we went back to our home state, rented a house. I hired an attorney, Coconino County, out of Flagstaff

878
01:34:34,660 --> 01:34:44,660
And he started filing, I think FOIA requests, initially FOIA requests to get those documents

879
01:34:44,660 --> 01:34:53,660
So we could look at them and start pummeling the local prosecutor with the facts and the statements and try to get some charges filed

880
01:34:53,660 --> 01:35:06,660
The Coconino County said officially, back to our attorney, they had never responded to anything at Weimar Springs

881
01:35:06,660 --> 01:35:16,660
They didn't know anything about anything. They had never been there, they never heard of any Father and Son Weekend at Weimar Springs

882
01:35:16,660 --> 01:35:21,660
Don't bother us anymore please, because we don't want to talk to you

883
01:35:21,660 --> 01:35:34,660
And we pushed and pushed that for three or four months, I think, saying, look, you're lying, you're lying, solider's to it, you're a liar

884
01:35:34,660 --> 01:35:39,660
And they said, well, you know, what are you going to do about it?

885
01:35:39,660 --> 01:35:46,660
And so we had no choice but to give up any legal process

886
01:35:46,660 --> 01:35:59,660
I then wrote letters, same letters, same copied letters, to every church, every church at the Great Pumpkin

887
01:35:59,660 --> 01:36:11,660
In Coconino County, every church, and every church I could find within probably 60-70 miles of Flagstaff

888
01:36:11,660 --> 01:36:17,660
Every Great Pumpkin church within that radius, 60 or 70 miles

889
01:36:17,660 --> 01:36:25,660
I don't know how many there were, probably 30 letters, something like that went out

890
01:36:25,660 --> 01:36:37,660
And I explained very rationally what had happened, and I wanted somebody to please reply

891
01:36:37,660 --> 01:36:46,660
And tell me this was a one-off, tell me that you knew who these people were and you would talk to them, something, something

892
01:36:46,660 --> 01:36:52,660
And I didn't get a single reply, and after two or three months I sent out the whole batch again

893
01:36:52,660 --> 01:37:01,660
Saying this is the second mailing of this letter, and I never ever got a reply, nothing

894
01:37:01,660 --> 01:37:12,660
So that told me that the Church of the Great Pumpkin was a satanic cult, I guess, for lack of any other description

895
01:37:12,660 --> 01:37:19,660
That's what they appeared to be to us, just a satanic cult

896
01:37:19,660 --> 01:37:33,660
The worst possible people in that great of numbers that we had ever come across on the planet in our lives

897
01:37:33,660 --> 01:37:40,660
They were the worst, to this day I haven't run across people that bad in that great of number

898
01:37:40,660 --> 01:37:52,660
I've run across, you know, whatever, pedophiles and dopeheads and every description of every stinking vermin known to man

899
01:37:52,660 --> 01:37:59,660
But I've never seen them in that number, usually it's one or two people, you know, you do your thing, you put them in jail

900
01:37:59,660 --> 01:38:08,660
But I had never seen 250 or 300 of them all in one place

901
01:38:08,660 --> 01:38:17,660
From that day to this day, people from the Church of the Great Pumpkin are not allowed on my property, certainly not in my home

902
01:38:17,660 --> 01:38:27,660
Certainly not ever in my motherfucking home, not on my property, not in any compound that I control, not in any business that I control

903
01:38:27,660 --> 01:38:42,660
I've had a number of businesses online and if I get the idea that the customer is from the Church of the Great Pumpkin, they're fucked, they're out, they're blocked, they're banned, no, no business

904
01:38:42,660 --> 01:38:49,660
So that whole experience weighed on me very heavily and it still does, well for the rest of my life

905
01:38:49,660 --> 01:39:05,660
My wife passed away, she took that horror with her, it killed a piece of her soul

906
01:39:05,660 --> 01:39:19,660
Now, in the previous tape, 180, I disparaged, very briefly I disparaged this church, I made some joking, stupid, foul-mouthed, idiotic jokes about it

907
01:39:19,660 --> 01:39:22,660
And I just felt that I should flesh this out

908
01:39:22,660 --> 01:39:29,660
You know, the story I'm telling here, I mean we're into this thing an hour and 39 minutes already, hour and 40 minutes

909
01:39:29,660 --> 01:39:33,660
If I were to tell every detail of the story, you're probably looking at three, four, five hours

910
01:39:33,660 --> 01:39:44,660
So this is just an outline of the crap that went on, just a barest outline, barest outline

911
01:39:44,660 --> 01:39:49,660
So you might be asking what's the name of this church, what church was that, was it really the Church of Satan?

912
01:39:49,660 --> 01:39:59,660
My God, who were these heathen bastards?

913
01:39:59,660 --> 01:40:05,660
Well they were Mormons, Church of Allaternated Saints

914
01:40:05,660 --> 01:40:17,660
The one church that we thought we might want to be involved in, the one church that we thought we might give our lives to in our souls, in our hearts

915
01:40:17,660 --> 01:40:25,660
That's what they turned out to be, Mormons

916
01:40:25,660 --> 01:40:29,660
So I live in another part of the world now, there ain't no Mormons

917
01:40:29,660 --> 01:40:38,660
I don't have to worry about them, I don't have to deal with them, I don't have to see them, I don't have to smell them

918
01:40:38,660 --> 01:40:47,660
And my son is old now, and he feels the same way

919
01:40:47,660 --> 01:41:03,660
And I hope my wife has found some peace wherever she is

920
01:41:03,660 --> 01:41:09,660
Okay, I was going to do an alien report at the end of this, I'm not going to

921
01:41:09,660 --> 01:41:17,660
I'm just going to say thank you very much and good evening and good night